La crème des répliques de l’année 2010 (troisième partie)

Pour terminer cette sélection, deux séries sont à l’honneur : The Big Bang Theory… et The Mentalist. Je sens déjà venir les contestations. Mais il faut bien faire un choix, je ne voulais pas non plus faire une rétrospective sur 3 semaines.

Commençons donc par The Big Bang Theory, qui brille une fois de plus par l’efficacité de ses répliques. L’occasion de voir, tout de même, que Sheldon tient une bonne part du rire. Mais je ne m’en lasse pas.


Penny: Well, I would ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn’t eat dessert on Tuesdays, and even if Raj wanted something he couldn’t tell me. Howard won’t order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake, and Leonard is lactose intolerant so he can’t eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.


Penny: God, [Raj]’s an ass when he drinks.
Wolowitz: He’s an ass when he doesn’t, you just don’t hear it.

Penny: I hear you broke up with Amy.
Sheldon: A breakup would imply she was my girlfriend. She was a girl who was my friend who is now a girl who is not my friend.
Penny: Wow. That’s, like, the worst country song ever.

Mary: Sheldon, sit down. Let’s talk.
Sheldon: All right, but you’re not fooling me. Whenever you say we have to talk, it means you want me to listen.
Mary: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, ma’am.


Sheldon: You realize, Penny, that the technology that went into this robotic arm will one day make unskilled food servers, such as yourself, obsolete.
Penny: Really? They’re going to make a robot that spits on your hamburger?

Raj: I’m telling you dude, the only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores!
(Leonard and Howard look at Raj awkwardly)
Howard: Horse.
Raj: What?
Howard: The phrase is « get back on the horse », not… whores.
Raj: That’s disgusting, dude!


Sheldon: (reading from roommate agreement) « Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon’s brilliant new series, Firefly. »
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: We might as well settle it now. It’s going to be on for years.

Mrs. Wolowitz: (shouting from another room) Howard! Are you having a playdate?
Howard: (also shouting) I don’t have playdates, Mom, I have colleagues!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Do their parents know they’re here?
Howard: No, but if you keep talking maybe they’ll hear you!


Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern

Leonard: It wasn’t my fault!
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and landed in her lady parts!
Penny: You know what, I’m just going to take the bus to work.
Leonard: Wait, Penny, I can still drive you.
Penny: No, you might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant


Sheldon: I’m glad we’re still friends.
Penny: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I’d hate for that effort to have been in vain.


Sheldon: The X-Men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men

Sheldon: This alcohol is defective. I do not feel any difference.
Penny: (hands him another glass of wine) Here, try this one


Penny: (after Sheldon cited from Leonard and their roommate-agreement) You actually put that in an agreement?
Leonard: Yeah, we also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant, or if one of us gets superpowers, or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.
Sheldon: He can’t kill me, even if I turn.
Penny: Is there anything in there about what if one of you gets a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little far-fetched.


Sheldon: The TV is gone.
Leonard: So are our laptops.
Sheldon: Oh, God… oh, God… oh, God! (runs to his bedroom and returns) It’s alright! They didn’t take my comic books.

Sheldon: They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard drives, our PS/2, our PS/3, our Xbox, our Xbox 360, our classic Nintendo, our Nintendo, our SuperNintendo, our Nintendo 64, and our Wii.
Leonard: We like games.
Sheldon: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy I through IX, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics(long pause)… and Ms. Pacman.
Cop: (writing) Assorted video games.

Passons enfin à The Mentalist. Je sais que le choix peut surprendre, mais Jane a un certain sens de la répartie, du ton moqueur, de la provocation. Et parfois ça fait mouche. De plus, j’apprécie également l’humour pince sans rire de Cho.


Jane: Well that was a big smile.
Lisbon: Of course I’m glad that you’re back, but I’m also glad we finally solved one without you.
Jane: You were kidnapped and delivered to me. That counts as solving one?


Jane: Ah, there’s the rub. Of what is she so scared?
Lisbon: And the answer is…
Jane: Well, it’s a rhetorical question. I have no idea. Well, I do have an idea, but I’m not gonna tell you, because that would be premature.
Lisbon: And I am not going to amuse you by demanding to know, so there.
Jane: So we’re both happy

Cho: Why would anyone date a jockey? Hungry little guy, smells like horses.
Rigsby: Don’t like horses?
Cho: They’re like dogs, but bigger.
Rigsby: You don’t like dogs?
Cho: It’s all an act with dogs. They do it for the food.
Rigsby: Everybody does.
Cho: That’s deep


Cho: Well, someone was looking for something.
Rigsby: Thank you, Captain obvious.
Cho: Three hours of brooding silence, then sarcasm. It’s like we’re married.


Lisbon: You heard a gunshot and ran in to help?
Jane: Yes, I did. I’m no hero. I just did what any person would do in that situation.
Lisbon: No one is calling you a hero.
Jane: Really? Good.


Lisbon: I can tell when you’re lying now.
Jane: No, you can’t tell.
Lisbon: I can, too.
Jane: That’s nonsense. You’re lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Lisbon: I’m not lying.
Jane: You are.


Kristina Frye: You think you manipulated me into coming with you, don’t you?
Jane: No, I don’t. I think you manipulated me into thinking I manipulated you into coming with me


Lisbon: Call Cho. I’m not even armed.
Jane: More lies. You have at least two guns in that car. (Lisbon looks at him) Three? Oh, my. You’re the poster girl for the NRA.


Jane: How did you know we were here?
Lisbon: I had little, tiny GPS trackers sewn into all your suits.
Jane: For a second there, I almost believed you.


Lisbon: I know, I know. You were making stuff up to get the guy angry so you could get a read on him. Blah, blah, blah. The truth is, you just didn’t like the guy.
Jane: Well, that would be very unprofessional.

Une réflexion sur “La crème des répliques de l’année 2010 (troisième partie)

  1. Comme je ne regarde pas « The Mentalist », je vais voter pour cette réplique-là :

    Sheldon: I’m glad we’re still friends.
    Penny: Really?
    Sheldon: Oh, yes. It was a lot of work to accommodate you in my life. I’d hate for that effort to have been in vain.

    J’aime de plus en plus le personnage de Penny alors que paradoxalement c’était celui que je trouvais le moins intéressant au début. Et la relation Sheldon/Penny vaut toujours son pesant de cacahuètes… 🙂

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